I made the mistake of weighing myself today. I'm still stuck at 125.
I eat net 1200-1400. that shudn't be enough to be maintaining my weight- thats ridiculously low for maintenance.
and then i feel myself slipping to bad thoughts...
if i eat just ONE egg and some veggies with coffee with no creamer, then it would be 130 calories...salad with sugar free dressing and a hard boiled egg is only 100 calories...i could get by on 400 calories for the day...
and then i feel the growing muscles in my thighs, how awake I feel. and then it stops. for a while. but it's enough to keep me going.
I am grateful that my body is healthy enough to get me through each day, my legs healthy enough to stand 45 min on the elliptical on high resistance (how I burned 400 calories!).
breakfast: 1 slice bread, 2 tbsp hummus, some orange-mango juice, coffee w/ creamer & agave (300)
snack: carrots and hummus (120)
lunch: 4 oz tuna steak, sauteed veggies, salad w/ corn and tomatoes, random Terra Cotta chips (450)
snack: small banana, other half of Luna bar (170)
dinner: rice and korean curry (with potatoes, carrots, onions and chicken) (430)
dessert: 1 square milka, coffee w/ creamer & agave (80)
dessert2: citron tea (50)
total: 1600
net: 1200
I was hungry ALL day today. probably because i exercised so much! the dinner calorie estimate is VERY rough (actually so is lunch)- i'm pretty much overestimating again. my net is pretty low today, but i mean i ate 1600 calories...according to some calculators i shud be eating 1200 TOTAL for weight loss (i'd STARVE)- that's freaking insane i'm sorry lol. i mean, technically i COULD. but i don't wanna live hungry 24/7- that's no way to live a life!
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Last day of break :-(
weeee I went to Trader Joe's today. um, seriously i could spend hrs in that store! i stocked up on my fav quesadillas, frozen veggies, agave syrup, white frozen fish, hummus, carrots, and bananas (all organic of course!- cept the quesadillas).
I also branched out:
CHOCOLATE COVERED ESPRESSO BEANS- they come in these cute travel tins. 22 for 70 calories. holy shit. imma be so hyper tomorrow! lol
CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA- reading glidingcalm's blog updates on her trip to India has made me crave Indian food like no other. my best friend is Indian, but she moved a while back and they're still settling so i haven't had any in a while. these seemed like a good alternative!
NEW BARS- I got a peanut butter cookie luna bar and a cashew cookie larabar. I am now the proud owner of 20 kashi bars, a cliffz bar, a luna bar, and 2 larabars. i think i'm stocked up for now ;-)
workout: 30 minutes on elliptical (250 calories burned)- I felt really off and breathless (more than usual) and fatigued, no clue why, so i cut it to 30 min again. the goal is to be HEALTHY.
breakfast: 2 slices Trader Joe's Organic 9 Grain Bread, 2 tblsp Trader Joe's organic hummus, cup of coffee w/ 3 tsp Coffeemate Creamer + 1 tsp Trader Joe's organic agave syrup (300 calories)
lunch: 1 cup white rice, 5 oz yellowtail fish, kimchee (350 calories)
dessert: citron tea & random rice cake (70 calories)
dinner: kalbitang with ricecakes and dumplings added (500 calories)
dessert: CHOCOLATE MOUSSE MILKA, coffee w/ creamer & agave (80 calories)
snack: 5 Terra chips (50 calories)
total: 1350
net: 1100 <---I do realize that is a bit low. but i've been eating higher caloric foods for a while now, and I wasn't very hungry today...trying to listen to my body!
A note on calorie values: these are all very rough estimates. for things like fish/ meat, i use the card deck = 3 oz trick, and I always round up. for things like the citron tea, its like 1 oz = 30 calories, but i say 50 b/c i have no idea how much 1 oz is...haha
I could get a food scale. But i never will, even though I know it's proven to help with weight loss. I know myself all too well- i have an obsessive nature (like how i spend like 3 hrs a day obsessively checking other people's blogs...and no, I am not a stalker thank u very much). I'm very good at mental math, and when I went through my 2 yrs of 500-700 calorie a day diet, i used to count every leaf, every jelly bean, every teaspoon of condiments. seriously, i'd be like (esp with packaged foods) since i'm eating half with a tsp of ketchup this food is 217 calories. And i'd eat a slice of deli ham for 8 calories, and drink 4 cups of water to fill me up, or better yet, a can of diet coke.
I don't want to live like that. I did go from 140+ pounds to 114, but i was miserable. I was depressed. And when I read my diaries, I was almost suicidal- i felt worthless b/c of my weight. looking back at those pictures, i was beautiful. at every weight.
but i never saw that.
i won't go back. ever.
I also branched out:
CHOCOLATE COVERED ESPRESSO BEANS- they come in these cute travel tins. 22 for 70 calories. holy shit. imma be so hyper tomorrow! lol
CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA- reading glidingcalm's blog updates on her trip to India has made me crave Indian food like no other. my best friend is Indian, but she moved a while back and they're still settling so i haven't had any in a while. these seemed like a good alternative!
NEW BARS- I got a peanut butter cookie luna bar and a cashew cookie larabar. I am now the proud owner of 20 kashi bars, a cliffz bar, a luna bar, and 2 larabars. i think i'm stocked up for now ;-)
workout: 30 minutes on elliptical (250 calories burned)- I felt really off and breathless (more than usual) and fatigued, no clue why, so i cut it to 30 min again. the goal is to be HEALTHY.
breakfast: 2 slices Trader Joe's Organic 9 Grain Bread, 2 tblsp Trader Joe's organic hummus, cup of coffee w/ 3 tsp Coffeemate Creamer + 1 tsp Trader Joe's organic agave syrup (300 calories)
lunch: 1 cup white rice, 5 oz yellowtail fish, kimchee (350 calories)
dessert: citron tea & random rice cake (70 calories)
dinner: kalbitang with ricecakes and dumplings added (500 calories)
dessert: CHOCOLATE MOUSSE MILKA, coffee w/ creamer & agave (80 calories)
snack: 5 Terra chips (50 calories)
total: 1350
net: 1100 <---I do realize that is a bit low. but i've been eating higher caloric foods for a while now, and I wasn't very hungry today...trying to listen to my body!
A note on calorie values: these are all very rough estimates. for things like fish/ meat, i use the card deck = 3 oz trick, and I always round up. for things like the citron tea, its like 1 oz = 30 calories, but i say 50 b/c i have no idea how much 1 oz is...haha
I could get a food scale. But i never will, even though I know it's proven to help with weight loss. I know myself all too well- i have an obsessive nature (like how i spend like 3 hrs a day obsessively checking other people's blogs...and no, I am not a stalker thank u very much). I'm very good at mental math, and when I went through my 2 yrs of 500-700 calorie a day diet, i used to count every leaf, every jelly bean, every teaspoon of condiments. seriously, i'd be like (esp with packaged foods) since i'm eating half with a tsp of ketchup this food is 217 calories. And i'd eat a slice of deli ham for 8 calories, and drink 4 cups of water to fill me up, or better yet, a can of diet coke.
I don't want to live like that. I did go from 140+ pounds to 114, but i was miserable. I was depressed. And when I read my diaries, I was almost suicidal- i felt worthless b/c of my weight. looking back at those pictures, i was beautiful. at every weight.
but i never saw that.
i won't go back. ever.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Lent?!?
Rawr. So yesterday was the start of Lent (which i spent at the movie theater...oops i'm such a bad christian!). In the past I have "given up"
TV
Starbucks
Junk food in general
coffee
There is no point in doing these because:
TV- i no longer have a TV in my house...my parents bought a house upstate and started slowly moving things up there. including our tv. which doesn't matter since I stopped watching American TV in general. I watch random korean shows on youtube once a week. but not regularly.
Starbucks- I don't go 3X a week anymore. decided that I wanna save money for college txtbooks. u no, cause they're friggin expensive. i go 2X a month, if that. seirously, i'd be giving up three freaking cups of coffee for Lent...
Junk food- i eat pretty clean now, except for the piece of chocolate (during school days i eat just ONE not two a day). i no longer eat chips/ ice cream...
coffee- I did this in ninth grade when I wasn't addicted. taking a hs senior who's taking 6 APs off of caffeine is NOT a good idea. i plan to get UNaddicted over the summer, when I don't hv grades to worry about...i'm sure Jesus wouldn't want me to fail out of school =P
So what AM I doing for Lent? getting a POSITIVE ATTITUDE. I have OCD and can get annoyed/angry very easily (i forgive really easily too though- in like 5 min haha). I also can be pessimistic. I WILL CHANGE THAT. Seriously, I am sooo FORTUNATE to be living the life I am, in NY with an apartment with HEAT, AMAZING SCHOOL, and my family is ALIVE and HEALTHY. And so am I- I don't have chronic illnesses, I have all of my limbs, I have good food to eat, etc etc.
Sometimes we just need to stop and be THANKFUL for everything. I think it's really easy to forget that in today's society. I complain to my mom about how high-caloric foods are, or that we don't eat enough organic food, we have "nothing" to eat in the house with a pantry and freezer stocked full of food when there are people STARVING all over the world. Or how I complain that a 65 degree house is freezing when so many people are literally without HEAT or even a freaking HOUSE.
So for Lent, I will be THANKFUL and NOT COMPLAIN. I heard it takes weeks to form a habit that will become LIFESTYLE. I will use Lent as my jumpstart point, and become a kind, caring, loving, grateful person.
Sorry that was my little rant...haha
This morning I was supposed to go up to Cornell to visit, but it snowed there and roads were icy, so I stayed put. Kind of disappointed, but not really I got to lounge all day! I did exercise for 30 minutes on elliptical and torched 250 calories- I tried to keep it above 7.5 mph!
Now for today's eats:
breakfast: 2 eggs, 1/3 cup corn, broccoli, cup coffee w/ agave & creamer (270 calories)
lunch: Trader Joe's Southwestern Chicken Quesadilla, garden salad w/ dressing (350 calories)
dessert: Korean instant coffee, 1 dove milk chocolate (100 calories)
snack: 2 clementines (80 calories)
dinner: Kalbitang (beef rib stew with rice noodles and korean radish- 4oz of beef with 1/4 cup noodles, 2 cups broth) and rice (650 calories)
dessert: 1 dove chocolate, coffee w/ agave & creamer (100 calories)
snackie: citron tea (50 calories)
total: 1600
net: 1350
Kalbitang is a beef rib stew- 4 oz of that beef alone had like 360 calories! haha and at least cellophane noodles don't have that many calories :-D but seriously, my mom is the BEST cook in the world (and yes, i am eternally grateful that the food I eat at home is 10000X better than what I could ever eat in any korean restaurant LOL) and i flat out refuse to not eat it- if it was 3000 calories I'd eat it- just a smaller portion! but my mom does try to make it healthier- using leaner beef, trimming the fat, skimming fat out of the broth, etc.
Kalbitang looks like this:
(photo from http://207.228.230.125/koreanfood/HTML/recipe_all.htm)
except mine was a whole lot more yum!
TV
Starbucks
Junk food in general
coffee
There is no point in doing these because:
TV- i no longer have a TV in my house...my parents bought a house upstate and started slowly moving things up there. including our tv. which doesn't matter since I stopped watching American TV in general. I watch random korean shows on youtube once a week. but not regularly.
Starbucks- I don't go 3X a week anymore. decided that I wanna save money for college txtbooks. u no, cause they're friggin expensive. i go 2X a month, if that. seirously, i'd be giving up three freaking cups of coffee for Lent...
Junk food- i eat pretty clean now, except for the piece of chocolate (during school days i eat just ONE not two a day). i no longer eat chips/ ice cream...
coffee- I did this in ninth grade when I wasn't addicted. taking a hs senior who's taking 6 APs off of caffeine is NOT a good idea. i plan to get UNaddicted over the summer, when I don't hv grades to worry about...i'm sure Jesus wouldn't want me to fail out of school =P
So what AM I doing for Lent? getting a POSITIVE ATTITUDE. I have OCD and can get annoyed/angry very easily (i forgive really easily too though- in like 5 min haha). I also can be pessimistic. I WILL CHANGE THAT. Seriously, I am sooo FORTUNATE to be living the life I am, in NY with an apartment with HEAT, AMAZING SCHOOL, and my family is ALIVE and HEALTHY. And so am I- I don't have chronic illnesses, I have all of my limbs, I have good food to eat, etc etc.
Sometimes we just need to stop and be THANKFUL for everything. I think it's really easy to forget that in today's society. I complain to my mom about how high-caloric foods are, or that we don't eat enough organic food, we have "nothing" to eat in the house with a pantry and freezer stocked full of food when there are people STARVING all over the world. Or how I complain that a 65 degree house is freezing when so many people are literally without HEAT or even a freaking HOUSE.
So for Lent, I will be THANKFUL and NOT COMPLAIN. I heard it takes weeks to form a habit that will become LIFESTYLE. I will use Lent as my jumpstart point, and become a kind, caring, loving, grateful person.
Sorry that was my little rant...haha
This morning I was supposed to go up to Cornell to visit, but it snowed there and roads were icy, so I stayed put. Kind of disappointed, but not really I got to lounge all day! I did exercise for 30 minutes on elliptical and torched 250 calories- I tried to keep it above 7.5 mph!
Now for today's eats:
breakfast: 2 eggs, 1/3 cup corn, broccoli, cup coffee w/ agave & creamer (270 calories)
lunch: Trader Joe's Southwestern Chicken Quesadilla, garden salad w/ dressing (350 calories)
dessert: Korean instant coffee, 1 dove milk chocolate (100 calories)
snack: 2 clementines (80 calories)
dinner: Kalbitang (beef rib stew with rice noodles and korean radish- 4oz of beef with 1/4 cup noodles, 2 cups broth) and rice (650 calories)
dessert: 1 dove chocolate, coffee w/ agave & creamer (100 calories)
snackie: citron tea (50 calories)
total: 1600
net: 1350
Kalbitang is a beef rib stew- 4 oz of that beef alone had like 360 calories! haha and at least cellophane noodles don't have that many calories :-D but seriously, my mom is the BEST cook in the world (and yes, i am eternally grateful that the food I eat at home is 10000X better than what I could ever eat in any korean restaurant LOL) and i flat out refuse to not eat it- if it was 3000 calories I'd eat it- just a smaller portion! but my mom does try to make it healthier- using leaner beef, trimming the fat, skimming fat out of the broth, etc.
Kalbitang looks like this:
(photo from http://207.228.230.125/koreanfood/HTML/recipe_all.htm)
except mine was a whole lot more yum!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Not focusing on numbers...
I know I'm bloated and icky so i'm skipping my weigh-in- ill do it monthly b/c i don't wanna get discouraged! I know i've been losing fat and gaining muscle- my thighs are hard yo! :-D
I did a cool 45 minutes this morning on the elliptical and burned 350 calories! I wanted to get back on the right track!
I really need to go low-sodium...which i totally failed by eating chinese food- my parents ordered it and the two are my FAVORITE dishes ever, couldn't resist! tried to keep portion sizes small (but the chow fun is so calorie dense! i actually couldn't find exact calorie amounts...i guestimated haha)
breakfast: 2 eggs, broccoli, corn, jalapeno pepper sauce (!) with coffee and 2 sips of aloe drink (300 calories)
lunch: 1 cup rice with 5 oz yellowtail fish (350 calories)
snack: 2 squares Milka, half a cup of coffee, Kashi Dark Chocolate Coconut bar (190 calories)
dinner: rice, chicken and broccoli (2/3 cup), shrimp chow fun (1/2 cup)- (550ish?)
dessert: honey citron tea (50 calories)
total: 1440
net: 1090
(photo from healthyandsane.com)
HOLY YUM!!!!!!!! omg this kashi bar is sooooo damn good. It has a thick gooey layer of chocolate on top of the granola bar and then bits of coconut sprinkled on top. IT IS SOOOO GOOD!!! I wish I had stocked up at Target when they were on sale- alas, i only bought one box b/c i didn't know they would be THIS GOOD. haha sorry freakin out it was like eating a candy bar- i devoured it in like 10 seconds
(photo from ecvv.com)
this is said citron tea. cept i use a different brand. but they all taste the same haha just put a spoonful into hot water and drink! it's so yummy and good for you- it has chunks of the peel that u just eat it is beleived to have antibiotic properties (good for warding of illnesses!) and has like a gazillion percent vitamin c (great for flu season!). it's yummy- not at all overpoweringly sour!
I did a cool 45 minutes this morning on the elliptical and burned 350 calories! I wanted to get back on the right track!
I really need to go low-sodium...which i totally failed by eating chinese food- my parents ordered it and the two are my FAVORITE dishes ever, couldn't resist! tried to keep portion sizes small (but the chow fun is so calorie dense! i actually couldn't find exact calorie amounts...i guestimated haha)
breakfast: 2 eggs, broccoli, corn, jalapeno pepper sauce (!) with coffee and 2 sips of aloe drink (300 calories)
lunch: 1 cup rice with 5 oz yellowtail fish (350 calories)
snack: 2 squares Milka, half a cup of coffee, Kashi Dark Chocolate Coconut bar (190 calories)
dinner: rice, chicken and broccoli (2/3 cup), shrimp chow fun (1/2 cup)- (550ish?)
dessert: honey citron tea (50 calories)
total: 1440
net: 1090
(photo from healthyandsane.com)
HOLY YUM!!!!!!!! omg this kashi bar is sooooo damn good. It has a thick gooey layer of chocolate on top of the granola bar and then bits of coconut sprinkled on top. IT IS SOOOO GOOD!!! I wish I had stocked up at Target when they were on sale- alas, i only bought one box b/c i didn't know they would be THIS GOOD. haha sorry freakin out it was like eating a candy bar- i devoured it in like 10 seconds
(photo from ecvv.com)
this is said citron tea. cept i use a different brand. but they all taste the same haha just put a spoonful into hot water and drink! it's so yummy and good for you- it has chunks of the peel that u just eat it is beleived to have antibiotic properties (good for warding of illnesses!) and has like a gazillion percent vitamin c (great for flu season!). it's yummy- not at all overpoweringly sour!
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