Friday, February 19, 2010

Last day of break :-(

weeee I went to Trader Joe's today. um, seriously i could spend hrs in that store! i stocked up on my fav quesadillas, frozen veggies, agave syrup, white frozen fish, hummus, carrots, and bananas (all organic of course!- cept the quesadillas).

I also branched out:
CHOCOLATE COVERED ESPRESSO BEANS- they come in these cute travel tins. 22 for 70 calories. holy shit. imma be so hyper tomorrow! lol
CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA- reading glidingcalm's blog updates on her trip to India has made me crave Indian food like no other. my best friend is Indian, but she moved a while back and they're still settling so i haven't had any in a while. these seemed like a good alternative!
NEW BARS- I got a peanut butter cookie luna bar and a cashew cookie larabar. I am now the proud owner of 20 kashi bars, a cliffz bar, a luna bar, and 2 larabars. i think i'm stocked up for now ;-)

workout: 30 minutes on elliptical (250 calories burned)- I felt really off and breathless (more than usual) and fatigued, no clue why, so i cut it to 30 min again. the goal is to be HEALTHY.

breakfast: 2 slices Trader Joe's Organic 9 Grain Bread, 2 tblsp Trader Joe's organic hummus, cup of coffee w/ 3 tsp Coffeemate Creamer + 1 tsp Trader Joe's organic agave syrup (300 calories)
lunch: 1 cup white rice, 5 oz yellowtail fish, kimchee (350 calories)
dessert: citron tea & random rice cake (70 calories)
dinner: kalbitang with ricecakes and dumplings added (500 calories)
dessert: CHOCOLATE MOUSSE MILKA, coffee w/ creamer & agave (80 calories)
snack: 5 Terra chips (50 calories)

total: 1350
net: 1100 <---I do realize that is a bit low. but i've been eating higher caloric foods for a while now, and I wasn't very hungry today...trying to listen to my body!

A note on calorie values: these are all very rough estimates. for things like fish/ meat, i use the card deck = 3 oz trick, and I always round up. for things like the citron tea, its like 1 oz = 30 calories, but i say 50 b/c i have no idea how much 1 oz is...haha

I could get a food scale. But i never will, even though I know it's proven to help with weight loss. I know myself all too well- i have an obsessive nature (like how i spend like 3 hrs a day obsessively checking other people's blogs...and no, I am not a stalker thank u very much). I'm very good at mental math, and when I went through my 2 yrs of 500-700 calorie a day diet, i used to count every leaf, every jelly bean, every teaspoon of condiments. seriously, i'd be like (esp with packaged foods) since i'm eating half with a tsp of ketchup this food is 217 calories. And i'd eat a slice of deli ham for 8 calories, and drink 4 cups of water to fill me up, or better yet, a can of diet coke.

I don't want to live like that. I did go from 140+ pounds to 114, but i was miserable. I was depressed. And when I read my diaries, I was almost suicidal- i felt worthless b/c of my weight. looking back at those pictures, i was beautiful. at every weight.

but i never saw that.

i won't go back. ever.


  1. So glad you're doing this in a healthy way now. :) And isn't it great to realize that your weight has NO bearing on how beautiful you are?

    I know what you mean about Trader Joe's! That place is like a wonderful alternate universe...I love it. I could just browse for hours.

    Nice bar choices! I LOVE Larabars (PB Cookie is my fave, Hubs loves the Cashew Cookie) and Clif Z bars - the chocolate brownie ones ROCK MY WORLD.

  2. thank you and yes, it is very comforting to know that now :-D

    and i agree i LOVE larabars. although the price tag makes me cringe cheapest at trader joe's at $1.29- still not cheap!

  3. I really appreciate the fact that you wrote about why your intake was so low, and your experience with under-eating... When I first started reading this post I was honestly a little scared because I thought you were stuck in some sort of eating disorder!
    I realize that you are re-building your relationship with food and doing so in a healthy way, so good job ;)
    Thanks for the wonderful comment on my blog as well <3

  4. I love wandering through TJ's too! :)

  5. i was just looking through the tj's fearless flyer - sounds like they have a wonderful array of new products.

  6. tatiannalives- sometimes I am afraid of that too..and then my mom cooks something delicious that i can't help myself! LOL

    simply life- just being in there makes me happy..

    lynn- those usually give me such bad cravings! and i try to buy so much!

  7. Thanks so much for your feedback on my blog love! Haha and I can spend hours at TJs too - I sometimes drag my bf grocery shopping with me - he thinks I'm crazy to love it so much! lol